Gripe gripe gripe: top five internet gripes

Gripes are in no particular order. I am forced to stretch here to provide content. My camera went on a trip across Europe for 2 weeks and I have been too busy at work to get to my shop after work, and there isn’t a glut of Giuliettas on eBay right now so I’m going to do what I don’t usually do and digress from a directly Giuliettas related blog post. Here it is , my own personal list of things I encounter while using the internet that irritate me. (Why does using seem like the wrong word?). Oh, and the pictures mean nothing in relation to the text, they are just funny or good or bad shots I found on my old computer.

img_1012When I worked at Applied Materials there was a courtyard completely surrounded by the building and every year a Mallard duck would sneek in there and lay eggs in the bushes, hatch babies and provide a general sense of cuteness to the semiconductor engineering world. This scrum is 5 of 12 from 2005.

Gripe # 1: Intermediate pages.  You know, you click on ‘My Ebay’ and you get an explanation page as though you’re John McCain visiting eBay for the first time as a ‘guest’ and you have to click AGAIN to actually sign in. Most email providers do this too; you sign in then come to a page full of ad’s that tells you how many new emails you have, WTF just show them to me, don’t tell me about them, timeconsumingly you have to click ‘inbox’ to go to a list of emails. My computer is getting close to four years old and each computer year is 30 human years so it’s way passed the walker-with-tennis-balls stage, (inset John McCain age joke here). Did you know Walgreens sells tennis balls in cans of FOUR in the medial aisle? Awesome. I seem to remember they have some disclaimer to the extent that they are not actually meant for tennis like the ones that come in cans of three.

Gripe #2: Artificially Truncated news stories.  A lot of news websites use this tactic to generate inflated page view counts.  Not a whole lot different that the National Enquirer type stories that are always front row center on Yahoo’s home page. You read 300 words of an Op Ed page you linked to through the realclearpolitics page and have to click to another page, with another set of 28, RAM immobilizing, flash based Viagra or Hummer ads that have to load before the final 142 words of the story are available.

img_2494Every year I have a ‘First Feast’ where I do my best to get good friends together, feed them a serious meal (I like to cook too) and have a good time. The 2007 edition of the first feast degenerated or climaxed depending on how you feel about these things in about 2 hours of dancing. That’s me in the white pants.

Gripe #3: Crap, and I mean CRAP on eBay especially when there are like 500 contiguous auctions for the same said crap.  Tonight I perused the rich pageant of Alfa Parts available via our monopolous friends eBay and I was irritated to find that there are what, 200 of the same dumb aftermarket K&N filter elements all listed in a concise row. I am thinking if EVERY person in the WORLD who wants one ‘Buys it now’ there will still be 114 auctions for the same dumb filter irritating me for another week.

Gripe #4: Big box search engine search results.  I go to one of our omniscient, omnipotent and I guess omnipresent (wow, I had no idea until I just wrote that) search engines and ingenuously query “Giulietta Sprint Speciale +for sale” to see what’s on the market in case I can find one to write a post about. The first 18 results are ALWAYS links to these useless websites that all have the same canned description, car show photos and 60 line generic ‘specification’ chart with maybe 7 SS specifications actually filled in. Come on, my blog and perhaps 3 or 4 other websites are genuinely actively relevant. Shouldn’t we be at the top?  Of course, we didn’t pay for a preferable pole position on the results page so I guess we should be happy to be there at all.

Oh well, my top 5 list has 4 entries. Tomorrow I’ll expound upon the dating and weight-loss benefits an Alfa Giulietta is sure to visit on your world.

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4 thoughts on “Gripe gripe gripe: top five internet gripes

  1. Well Matt,

    I enjoyed this ramble into your noodle. Our new puppy also has dating and weight-loss benifits visited on our world: a list of similarities between man and beast and man and Giulietta can be made. Omniscient. Wow Ahab!
    How can you not be happy owning multi-Alfas?
    Your post on Marelli distributor, Skinny Cavis wire, and a mystery coil is what I run: It is an internal ballast BLue-Bosch old 12v. VW type, painted to look subtle. It runs fast and lasts,

    Keep the revs up,
    Laurence

    • You’ll be surprised to find out your TDC gauge set up verified that I was able to set the cam timing perfectly. The distributor on the other hand was not so easily fooled into being in the correct position to play along on time with the rest of the band once it strikes up. Hopefully I’ll find out soon. The list remains long!

  2. #5: sites or sites with ads that play audio without any kind of opt-in option.

    Dishonorable mention: restaurants that only post their menus as PDFs.

  3. +1 on both your internet gripes and on Aaron’s addition.

    The one I’d add: the usually wasteful and badly laid out ‘print this page’ function on many pages — e.g. airline boarding passes or rental car confirmations — which end up printing the one page that you actually need plus one or more pages of additional crap that you instantly trash. Isn’t the internet supposed to be ‘green’? Or is this another symptom of a conspiracy by the Printer Ink Cartel?

    Last, re Gripes #1 and #2, I’ve recently found a free add-on to Firefox that can dramatically improve the speed of page loads: flashblocker. It suppresses the automatic load of flash components (i.e. your Viagra or Hummer adverts), replacing them with a button you click if you actually want to see that component.

    Can make following a story through multiple pages much faster, at the cost of making you less well informed about ED and hot deals on overweight trucks.

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